SCOTLAND: THE MOST FAITHFUL LITTLE DOG THAT EVER COCKED A LEG

PUP-LIC HOUSE: Greyfriars Bobby's statue and bar

ALMOST every overseas visitor to Edinburgh who tries haggis declares it delicious — until they’re told what it consists of. A haggis is a sheep’s stomach that’s scalded, pulled inside out, soaked overnight in brine and then stuffed with the chopped heart and lungs of a lamb, a pound of beef, diced onions and a half-pound of oatmeal. The cook then boils the bejaysus out of it and it’s served with bashit neeps and tatties — boiled and mashed turnip and potatoes.

On ceremonial occasions, the haggis is piped into the dining room by a guy in a kilt called something like Hamish McSporran and, shortly afterwards, it’s piped out by the emergency plumber.

Every morning, while blissfully clueless tourists tuck into this so-called delicacy at the breakfast table, fresh flowers are placed on Edinburgh’s most-visited grave which is marked with a red granite stone bearing the inscription: “Let his loyalty & devotion be a lesson to us all.”

This isn’t the final resting place of a war hero, an industrialist, a renowned scientist or a celebrated poet or author, of whom Edinburgh has produced many. The cuddly toys and squeaky rubber bones that vie for space with the flowers suggest an altogether more humble, but no less revered inhabitant. For beneath the lovingly-tended turf and within stick-throwing distance of the nearby pub that bears his name lie the remains of the most famous dog of all time — and I don’t mean Scooby Doo.

Greyfriars Bobby was a Skye terrier who died, aged 16 — or 112 in doggy years, which would make me 336 — on January 14, 1872. That was almost 140 years ago, but the heart-warming story of this remarkable little scamp lives on and attracts scores of thousands of visitors every year to Greyfriars Kirkyard where he’s buried.

GIVE A DOG A STONE: Bobby's grave

Bobby’s master was police officer John Gray, and the unlikely pair were a familiar sight on their daily beat. Police dogs in those days were invariably big snarling brutes you’d cross the street to avoid, but placid Bobby stood hardly halfway up Constable No. 90’s shins. Nevertheless, when ordered into action he was an able ally, as ne’er-do-wells found to the cost of their ankles.

Sadly, it was a short-lived partnership of just two years. Gray, who had bought Bobby as a pup, succumbed to tuberculosis at the age of 45 in February 1858 and was laid to rest in Greyfriars Kirkyard. In dying, he gave birth to a legend, because for the next 14 years faithful Bobby remained at his grave, sleeping on it at night when weather permitted and sheltering beneath a nearby tomb when it rained or snowed.

In the early days after Gray’s passing, his little dog was frequently chased from the cemetery by caretaker James Brown — the rules said no animals and no children, and Brown was a stickler. He was also, like other watchmen throughout the city, haunted by the memory of the ghoulish deeds 30 years before of William Burke and William Hare who, in the space of just 12 months, murdered 16 people and sold their bodies for dissection to Dr Robert Knox. Not that Bobby was any threat to the residents of Greyfriars — the only bones he was interested in came from the butcher’s bin — but nerves were still raw, Brown was on his guard and everything was done by the book.

The gruesome twosome paid dearly for the crimes that horrified Edinburgh (contrary to abiding popular belief they weren’t grave robbers). Burke, from Strabane, County Tyrone, was hanged for murder in front of a baying crowd of 25,000 at the city’s Lawnmarket in January 1829 and his body was publicly dissected in the Medical College. Afterwards, Professor Alexander Monro dipped his pen in the skull and wrote: “This is written with the blood of Wm Burke, who was hanged at Edinburgh. The blood was taken from his head.” The Surgeons’ Hall Museum contains many fascinating yet creepy exhibits including Burke’s skeleton and a wallet made from his skin. The Police Centre Museum on the Royal Mile has a similar wallet. Hare, from Poyntzpass, County Down, saved his neck by turning King’s evidence and fled to London where he was blinded by a mob and spent the rest of his life as a beggar, although it’s unknown when he died.

EDIN-BURY: Greyfriars Kirkyard and the castle, beyond

No matter how often Bobby was ejected from the cemetery, he always sneaked back in, squeezing through the bars of the main gates to resume his lonely vigil. Brown soon grew tired of evicting the tiny trespasser and came to grow fond of him. He started feeding Bobby each morning and made him a bed by placing some sacking and an old blanket under the tomb where Bobby sheltered from the elements. Customers in Traill’s Coffee House next to the cemetery gates — it’s now Greyfriars Bobby’s Bar — got to hear of the caretaker’s new friend and encouraged him to come in. But he’d never enter until he heard the one o’clock gun from the castle battlements, which had been the signal for Gray and him to knock off for lunch and is still fired each day.

Bobby’s daily ritual began to attract curious crowds who’d gather at the kirkyard gates waiting for the gun to sound. A few seconds later, they were rewarded with seeing the little dog dashing out of the cemetery, running between their legs and heading straight into Traill’s. But in 1867 a bye-law requiring dogs to be licensed was passed and the police were ordered to round up all strays, which were to be destroyed (I won’t tell you how). As masterless Bobby was to all intents and purposes a stray there was, understandably, a public outcry, but common sense prevailed. His admirers raised a petition that was presented to Lord Provost (Mayor) Sir William Chambers who was so moved by Bobby’s story that he ordered that his licence fee be paid indefinitely by the city council. Not only that, but Chambers, who was a director of the Scottish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, went out and personally bought him a collar which, along with his dinner bowl, are the most popular exhibits in the Huntly House Museum on the Royal Mile.

HILL OF A VIEW: Looking from Calton, high above the city

Just outside Greyfriars Bobby’s Bar, directly across the street from the National Museum of Scotland is the most photographed statue in Scotland, erected to the most faithful little dog that ever cocked a leg. It was commissioned by philanthropist and animal lover Baroness Angela Burdett-Coutts, at one time the richest woman in Britain, who asked the council for permission to install a lasting memorial. The members agreed, and went one better, unanimously awarding Bobby the freedom of the city (others on whom the honour has been bestowed include Sir Walter Scott, Charles Dickens, US Presidents Ulysses E. Grant and Dwight D. Eisenhower, Alexander Graham Bell, Winston Churchill, Queen Elizabeth, Sir Sean Connery and Nelson Mandela). The life-sized bronze statue by WH Brodie, which sits on a granite plinth and was unveiled in November 1873, is a magnet for visitors.

Just down the street is the Elephant House Cafe where another legend was born. It was here that struggling single mum Joanne Rowling wrote the first words of the Harry Potter series in her notebook. Fans of the boy wizard flock to the cafe every day, and most then stroll the short distance to have their picture taken at Bobby’s statue and, perhaps, have a drink in the pub. If they have their pets with them, there’s a drink for them, too, because at the foot of the plinth is a water trough for dogs. I can’t think of a more fitting tribute to the tiny terrier.

AN EDINBURGH JEWEL

I was introduced to The Cafe Royal (www.caferoyal.org.uk) 30 years ago, and I make a beeline for it every time I’m in town. It’s a pub in as much as it serves drink, including many cask ales and a huge selection of malt whiskies, but it’s the decor that stops first-time visitors in their tracks the moment they step inside. I always try to sit facing either of the doors to see their reaction, which is invariably a look of wide-eyed wonder followed by a “Waow!”. The AA Hospitality Awards judges who last month named it Scottish Pub of the Year obviously felt the same.

THE BEST BAR NONE: My favourite pub, the Cafe Royal

Dating from 1863 in its present location in West Register Street opposite the Balmoral Hotel, it’s a splendid example of Victorian and Baroque elegance where it appears no expense has ever spared in justifying the “Royal”. Stained glass, highly-polished dark woods, marble, ornate plasterwork and brass fittings abound, and the unique Doulton ceramic murals depicting inventors Benjamin Franklin (another Edinburgh freeman), Michael Faraday, James Watt, William Caxton, Robert Peel and George Stephenson at work were made in 1886 yet look as fresh as the day they left the kiln.

Fresh, too, is everything that comes from the kitchen. Oysters are the signature dish, but the regularly changed bar menu also offers mussels, fish stew, seafood platters and grilled sea bass plus smoked salmon sandwiches. If you’re feeling particularly peckish, the Stornoway black pudding and apple gratin starter is superb.

WHERE TO STAY

The 187-room Apex Waterloo Place (www.apexhotels.co.uk) is my home from home in Edinburgh. This 4-star boutique hotel with free wifi, a pool, sauna, Technogym and spa is situated at the eastern end of Princes Street close to Waverley Station and is overlooked by Calton Hill, which affords the best views of the city.

˜Bill Hill, who knows Edinburgh like the back of his hand, is the man to call if you want to take an informative and entertaining guided tour of the city. A raconteur, singer and songwriter, he’s a fount of fascinating facts and figures that bring the history of Scotland’s capital to life. And when it comes to Greyfriars Bobby, Bill’s shaggy dog story beats them all. Call him on 0131 445 1296 or see www.edinburghtourguide.co.uk

˜For a Burke and Hare evening walking tour of the Old Town (£9.50) see www.westporttours.com. The Edinburgh Dungeon’s actor-led Burke and Hare experience costs £11.20 when booked online (www.the-dungeons.co.uk/edinburgh).

˜For further information on what to do and see in Edinburgh, go to www.visitscotland.com

Read More

SCOTLAND: SCOTS WHEY HEY!

GLAS-GO! Glasgow's Kelvingrove Museum and Art Gallery

The last person hanged in public in Glasgow was an Englishman, which went some way to appeasing those in the crowd who had only just bought season tickets. Dr Edward Pritchard exited this world at the end of a rope on July  28, 1865, in Glasgow Green. He’d poisoned his wife. When his mother-in-law became suspicious, he poisoned her, too. This was just one of the fascinating facts I learned during my first ever open-top bus tour (£11) of my home city. But it wasn’t enough for the Aussie tourist sitting in front of me. He asked to see the statue erected in Pritchard’s honour.

I haven’t lived in Glasgow, which will host the 2014 Commonwealth Games, for 28 years (Pritchard hasn’t lived there for 146), so I thought it was time to learn something about the place that gave me this accent. Wandering around with a guidebook is all very well, but you can’t beat the insider knowledge of a native bus tour guide with a sense of humour.

It rains only twice a year in Glasgow, from January through March and April through December, so always carry an umbrella. This will also come in handy when walking in George Square, where gulls and pigeons practise their bombing runs with remarkable accuracy.

English is widely spoken, although the Glasgow or ‘Glesga’ version delivered with gusto and rich in r’s can prove unnerving to the untuned ear, making “Good morning” sound like a threat.

CHEERS: The rough, ready and wonderful Horse Shoe Bar

Drop into the Horse Shoe Bar in Drury Street near Central Station for a pint and one of its famed mutton pies and you’ll hear the local lingo, or patter, at its blood-curdling scariest as punters vie to out-slag each other. When I was there last Thursday afternoon, a large gentleman wearing glasses was greeted with: “Ach Wullie, howzitgaun ya specky fat bastard? Waant a lager?”

They don’t have punters in the Ubiquitous Chip restaurant in Ashton Lane in the city’s fashionable West End, they have patrons, don’t you know, but while it’s on the posh side it’s far from being pretentious. The Chip has an enviable reputation built over 40 successful years for providing top-class and innovative cuisine at affordable prices in the most delightful surroundings.

DINE-AMIC: Fabulous Ubiquitous Chip

The three-course pre-theatre menu served from 5 to 6.30pm is a steal at £19.95. I had a starter of smoked salmon and hake fishcake, garden pea puree and pickled onions followed by Woodneuk Farm beef and chilli sausage with chickpea and spinach dahl, and for dessert the Chambord jelly, honey mousse and vanilla tuille was a wise choice.

Wiser still is the Chip’s choice of waiting staff, who clearly love working there. They’re young, enthusiastic, smart and courteous, and every query about the dishes on offer was answered with a detailed description. I can’t praise them highly enough. These girls and guys know their onions, and every mouthwatering morsel that comes out of the kitchen, and their contribution made a good dining experience great. If they were footballers they’d be playing at the highest level and earning millions.

RED & BREAKFAST: Blythswood Square

Then they could afford to live it up in the £1,500 a night penthouse suite in Glasgow’s 5-star Blythswood Square Hotel and Spa, which is just a five-minute walk from the vibrant centre and where the staff are also at the top of their game. It occupies one side of the square that used to be the city’s red light district, but the only tarts you’ll see around there now are in the window of Greggs the bakers in nearby Sauchiehall Street. The hookers are gone but not forgotten, and in a wry wink to the neighbourhood’s seedy past, red lights burn in many of the hotel’s street-facing windows.

Like the Chip, there’s no snootiness at the Blythswood Square, just the very best of Scottish hospitality and an emphasis on quality that ensures repeat business from satisfied customers.

OCH AYE THE NOUS: Carnoustie's renowned golf course

I stayed at the Blythswood Square before heading north over the Forth Road Bridge to Carnoustie, the famed North Sea links course that has hosted the Open seven times and was the venue last week for the Ricoh Women’s British Open won by Taiwan’s Yani Tseng with an impressive 16 under-par 272.

Not as impressive, though, as my efforts in the hole-in-one short chipping contest in which my first shot went flying over the fence and bounced off a couple of cars and my second ended up in the back of a delivery van full of Tunnock’s Tea Cakes.

It’s a good thing I wasn’t let loose on the course proper, of which Ernie Els has said: “You’ve really got to have your wits with you to play Carnoustie. It’s probably the best bunkered course you’ll find anywhere in the world.”

Having seen some of the bunkers, I have to agree, because you’d need a ladder, never mind a sand wedge, to get out of them. They’re like World War One trenches. But that’s the sort of challenge that has golfers flocking to the place. That, and the jaw-dropping scenery.

TREE-MENDOUS: Spoil yourself at Gleneagles Hotel

Next stop, and the glittering highlight of my all-too-brief trip home, was an overnight stay at Gleneagles Hotel where everything is jaw-dropping, especially the prices. Rooms start at £525 a night for a double or twin Classic on a dinner, bed and breakfast basis, and the Royal Lochnagar Suite is £2,145.

Included is unlimited free use of the Club facilities that include the gym, swimming pools, outdoor hot pool, Jacuzzi, steam room, sauna, tennis, snooker, putting, petanque and croquet.

The ESPA spa (Favourite Spa in a Hotel in the 2008 and 2010 Conde Nast Traveller Awards) offers a wide range of facials, body treatments and massages. Among the most popular packages is the 95-minute Retreat (£135) that includes a foot treatment and back, face and scalp massage followed by a two-course lunch.

The 850-acre resort is also home to shooting, fishing, equestrian and gundog schools and the British School of Falconry, but it’s for golf that Gleneagles is most renowned.

TEE-RIFFIC: Try a round  at Gleneagles

There are three championship courses: the PGA Centenary Course which will host the 2014 Ryder Cup, the King’s Course and the Queen’s Course, plus the nine-hole PGA National Academy Course for beginners, or duffers like me, though I don’t think they’d take too kindly to me doing a Time Team on their manicured fairways. A special Sunday to Thursday offer available until October 31 allows up to four golfers to buy a tee time from 2pm on for £320.

From one sort of driving to another, I signed up for a late afternoon off-road Range Rover safari and picnic in the heart of the Perthshire countryside just 20 minutes from Gleneagles and saw my mountainous homeland at its most ruggedly beautiful from some dizzying up, down and sideways angles. It wouldn’t surprise me if those things could be driven up a vertical wall and across the ceiling.

The last time I went on a picnic I sat on my schoolbag as my pals and I shared a big bottle of Irn Bru and munched on rock-hard crab apples (it was like sucking lemons) pinched from old Smelly Kelly’s orchard.

MOOR CHAMPAGNE? Picnic time in the Highlands

Gleneagles was a little different. I sat on a green tartan blanket atop a hillock, sipped champagne and spread pate on a crusty roll baked just a couple of hours before. High above, a pair of red kites circled. The only sounds were the bleating of sheep on the mountainsides, the far-off yet unmistakeable growl of an unseen Harley Davidson and the much closer pop of a cork.

I could’ve sat there all day, but I had to return to Gleneagles for a date with a plate at eight and didn’t want to be late.

Dinner in the Strathearn, one of the world’s 10 Great Hotel Restaurants, costs £58 for three courses including dessert and £70 for four. I chose Isle of Mull scallops with baby leeks, tomato and chocolate dressing to start, followed by three succulent Scottish lamb cutlets with potatoes and vegetables.

YES, PEAS! Fine dining at Gleneagles

I would’ve had some Princess d’Isenbourg Sevruga caviar (£150 for 30 grammes), but I wanted to leave room for dessert, which was a scoop each of vanilla and saffron pistachio salted caramel ice cream with the biggest, fattest, juiciest blackberries, strawberries and raspberries I’ve ever tasted.

My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I perused the “Classics Prepared In The Kitchen” breakfast menu the next morning.

There’s porridge, of course, plain and simple if that’s what you like, or creamy with Drambuie-laced raspberries.

From the smokehouse there’s Orkney kippers with lemon and melted butter, smoked haddock and Mull cheddar cheese omelette, Finnan haddock and poached eggs and Marburry hot smoked salmon and poached egg kedgeree.

Or you could choose 28-day aged Scotch beefsteak with Portobello mushrooms, free-range egg, vine tomatoes and Rooster potatoes, or perhaps fried duck eggs with dry cured back bacon washed down with Bucks Fizz, Drambuie Fizz or a frozen Smirnoff Bloody Mary. They also have tea. For those who like to help themselves there’s a hot and cold buffet the likes of which I’ve never seen.

Having eaten enough at dinner and breakfast to choke a horse, I headed to South Queensferry, near Edinburgh airport, to see the real things in action in glorious sunshine (it does put in the occasional appearance) at the Gillespie MacAndrew Hopetoun International Horse Trials.

MANE EVENT: Dressage at Hopetoun House horse trials

The event’s host, Lord Hopetoun, said he would've been happy to see 150 competitors, but it attracted 500. That might just have had something to do with the fact many are friends of Olympic equestrian and Queen’s granddaughter Zara Phillips and Mike Tindall who were married in Edinburgh’s historic Canongate Kirk last Saturday afternoon.

I wonder if they were aware that Robert Burns’ great love Agnes MacLehose, better known as Clarinda and for whom he wrote Ae Fond Kiss, and his chief inspiration, the tragic Edinburgh poet Robert Fergusson, are buried in the kirkyard, as is the economist Adam Smith.

The trials, which finished on Sunday in the grounds of the magnificent Hopetoun House where the amiable earl and his wife live with their young children, drew large crowds of horse-loving spectators and families who were simply enjoying a different sort of day out.

They also served as a selection trial for the Irish riders who’ll compete in the European Eventing Championships in Luhmuhlen, Germany, from August 23 to 29.

Despite my total ignorance of horses, I can see the attraction of eventing, if only for the fact I’d get to walk around in the fresh air in a smart tweed jacket and cavalry twills with a copy of Horse & Hound under my arm.

The dressage, though, is a bit too Strictly Come Dancing for my liking, and as for golf, well, no one’s going to benefit from me swinging a club. Except the driver of that Tunnock’s Tea Cakes van, who went home with a brand new ball.

˜Blythswood Square offers several special deals. The Shopping Galore two-night weekend break, for example, which is valid until December 30, 2012, costs £250 per person sharing based on two sharing a Classic room and includes full Scottish breakfast each morning, three-course dinner from the Market Menu on one evening and a £50 shopping voucher each from Cruise. For an additional £80 per person you can treat your feet to an Ila Luxurious Seaweed Foot Experience in the spa.
˜For details of weekend leisure and activity breaks and longer holidays in Scotland, plus features on touring, festivals, sporting events and other attractions, see visitscotland.com/surprise

Read More